Perhaps instead of Christmas in July, this is Father’s Day in July. I find myself editing a post I wrote over a year ago that I had forgotten about. I think now is a great time as any commercial holiday to give a high five and big virtual hug to all of the dads out there who love and sacrifice for their little ones, and especially give a special acknowledgment to Grey’s daddy and the men in my life who have given so much to me and my family. Excuse me while I depart from early childhood intervention talk and indulge in this.
First up, my dad. I always knew that if I had a son I would name him John. John is my dad’s name and since I am the youngest of four girls with no brothers, my mom thought my middle name should honor my dad. So, Sara Jon I am. I guess she thought leaving the h out made the name more feminine. I have never asked her why she did that. Anywho, being able to pass on my dad’s name to my son meant a great deal to me. I was sure to leave the h in it this time around. So, John Greyson my son is.
I grew up a daddy’s girl. He was my first hero and I loved him more than I could possibly ever put into words. My parents divorced when I was two years old and my dad took care of me as much as possible until I finally begged and cried enough to be with him legally all the time.
My dad owned a heat and air conditioning company, dabbled in real estate, and built a few houses when I was growing up. If I wanted to be with him, that meant I had to go to work with him. The door (as in the truck door) was always open and I usually went along. Looking back now, especially as a parent, I truly appreciate, admire, and respect my dad for spending that time with me. I mean, I don’t think I could tolerate my kids hanging with me at work all day…all summer! (I love my kids, but can I get an amen?!) He could have told me I was in the way (as I am sure I was). He could have said it was too hot, too cold, too loud, too boring for me, but he never did. He took me with him. I was a prissy little girl obsessed with dresses and dolls who started designing clothes at eight years old and yet my dad and I got along just fine. He’d get an appliance or air conditioner box for me and tell me it was my house. I’d decorate it with my drawings and use my imagination for hours. If that did not entertain me, he would give me a broom and tell me to go to work! There were no cell phones or iPads in Dad’s work truck then. Most of the time I stayed out of trouble, except for when I got stuck in a tower on a blueberry farm or ran backwards on a client’s treadmill and burned my legs… and maybe a few other times, but I ended up okay. I never wanted to disappoint him.
Going to work with my dad taught me lessons that settled into my bones. It taught me to work hard, put others’ needs before my own, and get sh!t done without asking anyone for any help (okay, maybe not all of that was for the best). My dad didn’t just work for a paycheck. My dad was (and still is) the consummate volunteer. He was always making another stop to check on someone or do something to make our little town better… from putting up the Christmas lights on the courthouse to doing electric work at the fairgrounds to climbing on whatever roof or in whatever attic to make sure whatever event went off without a hitch. My dad was THE GUY and he was my favorite one for a very long time. My dad loved me in the best way he could then. It wasn’t sweet and soft. There were barely any words or signs of affection, but he was there and he was mine.
And next, to the man I named my daughter after (the Drew part). My other “dad”. It is one thing for a man to love his child; that is something that many do if only out of obligation. For some, giving unconditional love is not innate, but still, I think many might agree that it is easier to sacrifice for and love a child you were a part of creating or chose from the beginning to bring into your family than one you didn’t plan on even being a part of your life. It is certainly another thing to take a child in and love them in their darkest hours, through the most challenging versions of themselves when they aren’t yours to have to love. That’s what Andrew did for me. Heck, he still does. He raised me from an insecure teenager to someone who recognizes my many imperfections and tries to see the best in me to do better. He was there to always catch me when I fell, to move me when I accepted a challenge, to push me to love and do well, and to celebrate with me when I succeeded. He made me 40 pounds of brownies filled with love and he always left the light on for me. Andrew changed my life in more ways than my words could ever do justice and I will always be grateful, honored and humbled that he chose to love me. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without him in it, nor do I care to.
And, of course, there’s Grey’s daddy. I appreciate him for loving me when I made it hard to do so, for believing in me and supporting my dreams, for believing in Grey’s struggles and his potential, for advocating for Grey, for being a leader, for making sure Bella gets the attention she needs when he can, for making us all laugh with his clever humor, for being my best friend… my shoulder to cry on, my ear to vent to, and the person I share our joys with. This man has sacrificed so much for Greyson to have the resources he needs. It has been incredibly challenging with so many precious days and nights apart. Many long drives. Many experiences of our children growing up missed. Two mortgages. I will forever be thankful that he saw how much Greyson could benefit from that sacrifice and made sure that we had all we needed to be safe and secure. Forever and ever grateful. I think if you asked this man ten years ago if he would have two more children, he would have made an extremely witty joke that absolutely identified the answer as no. Here we are and he loves us so. And we love him always.
Cheers to all of you that play the role of dad. May you never forget that your role is a very important, impactful one. There are many gifts you can give – from time, assurance, safety, security, respect, affirmation, love, inspiration, etc. I hope that someone reminds you just how much those gifts you have given are appreciated and I hope you choose to always remember the good you can do with those gifts and keep giving them freely.
With Love,
Sara